stephanie.loses.it.

I had a bit of a breakdown tonight. I went to the volunteer orientation at MGH, which was great, but i got conformation that i have to do my volunteer hours during the week as opposed to nights or weekends. I knew it was coming, but still had hopes that i could somehow sneak them in on the weekend. What does this mean? It means that i'm officially unable to get a "real" job, at least until april, which would be a little ridiculous since it would only be for five months at that rate. It also means that the days i'm able to work in my temporary situation are reduced to at most four, more likely three. I'm going to be broke. That, piled on top of my stress about getting into the program i want (of 70 applicants last year, they accepted 10), my anxiety about change in general, and the complete lack of order i'm stuck with for the next eight months, put me over the edge. At that moment, i really understood why people become alcoholics. I picked a. up at work since i was down there anyway, and she was finishing up around the same time. She spent the entire 30 minute ride home calming me down, reassuring me that i'll be great at this, and helping me figure out a plan to organize my life a little. I love her. What would i do without her as my faux older sister? I'd be s.o.l., that's what.