7.06.2006
i.hate.calculus
Some of you may recall that I have to catch up on calculus courses before applying to grad school for statistics. Well, it just so happens that while I LOVE statistics, I HATE calculus. I was very worried when I first discovered this because I didn't want to get to grad school and realize that I hated the whole math thing. I did some questioning, and found that while you need calc for stats, it's not a huge part of it. I was also relieved to find that my sister (who loves calculus) hates statistics. So maybe I'm not doomed. However, I'm now in the beginning of a month long online calc 2 course. I'll be impressed with myself if I actually figure it all out by myself since I normally have to ask lots of questions (and probably was the kid you hated in class since it would extend the class time exponentially!). It makes me so anxious that I start to think that maybe this is the way of telling me that I really should be teaching, and not trying to do something that stresses me out so much. I consider this for a while, but then don't want to feel like I'm just chickening out when things get a little rough. I guess I'll wait and see how I do in this course since I've already paid for it anyway.
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calculus is just a tool, really, and math notation is just another language. it's easy to think of it as a big, scary thing, but other than theoretical mathematicians, everyone uses math as a tool to do something else.
that makes it a little less scary, but maybe no less exciting. as a programmer, i find math notation very foreign compared to computer code. i'm having to brush up on my calc lately, and i find myself frustrated that they present algorithms and equations in math notation instead of computer pseudo-code, which i can read as easily as english.
my reason for re-learning this stuff is that i'm reading a book on finite-element methods, which is what engineers use to simulate physical models and do stress analysis on them, like when they're building a bridge and want to make sure a few hundred tons' worth of cars won't make the bridge fall over. they treat the bridge as composed of a bunch of small pieces all connected together, and then a bunch of equations describe how forces propagate through and between those little pieces.
in the books i took out, they go over a "brief review" of the required math. i remember matrix math, and i remember lagrange interpolation, but variational calc i don't remember ever learning, and i don't really remember much of the more esoteric integral notation at all (loop integrals, bounded integrals, that stuff.)
that said, my motivation for learning all this is that i want to build a small outdoor rock climbing wall, and i am learning the FEM stuff so i can make a little program that lets me model the metal scaffolding for the wall first to make sure it won't break and fall over on top of me while i'm climbing. keeping that in mind, it's a lot easier for me to go relearn basic calc and teach myself variational calc -- because it's all for building a climbing wall!
the moral of the story, i guess, is that if you find the calc boring and tedious, try to think of applications for it that you find interesting and personally exciting. it can be tough, because not many professors really try to present things that way, but if you can find it for yourself, it'll make it far less painful. maybe even fun!
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