gum.chewers.

I have a pet peeve. Actually, I have several, but today we're just focusing on one. I hate when people chew gum like cows. It's tricky, because unless you're related to someone, you can't really tell them to keep their mouth closed when they're chewing. They most likely don't notice that they're doing it, and would probably be offended if you corrected them. (So guys- if you're a friend of mine who chews like a cow, this is directed at you. Stop doing it!) When I was a kid, my mom didn't let us have gum. She wanted us to be old enough to be aware of how we were chewing it. That, and she probably didn't want it stuck all over the furniture. This seems to have worked. Although I responded by stealing gum from grocery stores on two occasions, now I'm always conscious of keeping my lips zipped. Unless, apparently, I've had some wine. A few weeks ago, when I was visiting with friends (and drinking plenty of wine), I grabbed a piece of gum on my way back from the bathroom. We were sitting around in the living room, and one of them asked me if I was chewing gum. Then they started talking about how much they hate when people chomp their gum. This was when I realized I was doing exactly that- chewing my gum like a cow chews its cud. Disgusting. So now I've made a vow never to chew gum while intoxicated. I just can't risk behaving in such an uncouth fashion.